Blog of a Million Dreams

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Two is Better than One...

...and one is better than none.

Right now I'm preparing for 2 job interviews.

I keep telling myself that, hey, at least I have job interviews. Which is better than last year, when I was looking, when I didn't have any interviews.

But here's the thing. I'm supposed to prepare these 15 minute presentations. Ridiculous.

And it's stressing me out. Big time.

Because all of those fears are creeping in...and to be quite honest, I don't know how badly I want these jobs. The jobs I do want, I'm not getting called for...and this is stressing me out.

Plus I took a look at my bank balance today and almost threw up.

There isn't any more money coming in.

So, I have the added pressure of money woes compiled with these stupid, fake interviews that don't realistically tell anyone how well I can perform on the job. And in the past, when I've agreed and come up with presentations, the people interviewing me have the gall to not only NOT hire me, but on top of all of that, they try to steal my work. Yes, I've actually caught them attempting to walk out with my materials and when I called them on it, said, "Oh but we want to keep this." And then argued with me when I said "No way!"

F-U people for making me work for free and then trying to steal my work and topping it all off by not hiring me. But I need a job, so here I go...developing presentations that are taking up all my time and all for what????

I WILL get a job before the end of August...I'm visualizing August 15th.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Baby Shower Blues

I've got 2 Baby Showers within weeks of each other to host.

I've got baby presents coming out of my ears.

Last year it was weddings, this year it's babies.

But I had to attend a funeral also.

So, really, I should be so grateful, thankful and happy that I'm not attending another funeral...and happy for the babies that are coming.

Really, I should.

I'm also madly preparing for job interviews, bills and getting kiddos ready for college that I can't see straight.

So, how do I have time for baby showers?

Friday, July 27, 2007

Maxed Out

Just finished watching Maxed Out...a docudrama about the credit card companies, collection agencies and state of America's families.

It was so sad.

A boy and girl (in their early twenties) committed suicide over their debts. And this older woman in Half Moon Bay lost her house.

The documentary didn't even delve into subprime loans and foreclosures. It mainly described credit card debt.

Did you know that most American families are over $9,000 in debt? And they pay about $1,300 in interest payments a year?

And the politicians don't care about Americans...they care about the's like history has come full circle.

In early America (European Early America), people were thrown in jails until they rotted or paid their bills. I wouldn't be surprised if we come full circle in the next few decades!

But I sure as heck won't be taking out or using my credit cards anytime soon. Pay those debts off, baby, or capitalism owns you!

Jobs, Jobs and More Jobs

I have 2 interviews next week and I'm dreading them.

Because I am supposed to create a 'fake class' and teach a lesson, developing subject matter and curriculum and present it to a group.

C'mon. How about paying me for developing all of this stuff. I mean, if you don't have enough faith in my the point that you are asking for a huge investment of my time in these presentations, then don't waste my time by having me come in.

I'm getting more and more disgusted by the way that employees are treated. And the way that interviews are conducted.

There are some seriously stupid people in this world and, sadly, many of them are on the hiring end of the spectrum.

Need. To. Develop. My. Own. Business. Now.

Living in a Fishbowl

There is a lot of appeal to living in a condo complex.

First, you have a group of people doing maintenance on the exterior. So, you are not soley responsible for say, gutters or roofs. Of course, the result of this is a lot of resentment brewing from those people who think they are working harder than anyone else. And, of course, resident pressure on the group to enforce "work days" when only 2 people actually show up.

Then, there's the fact that you don't have to mow the lawn, take care of the front yard, etc.,.

But really, that's about the only appeal.

Listing the disadvantages is actually a much longer list. Because you are forced to throw your financial lot in with a bunch of people who really aren't that money savvy (or they would have bought a house...or they are a single parent without a lot of choices when it comes to house purchasing...or they don't really care about how they live so they choose to live in a low maintenance housing choice...). And these people are obnoxious and inescapable.

I am going to buy a house.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Time Management, Lohan and Homeowner Blues

When one is unemployed, time can drag. But I'm also finding that I still don't have enough time to get everything done. I want to organize the garage, the bedrooms, the bathrooms, and install hardwood floors. I want to do multiple Goodwill runs, getting rid of everything we don't use.

Unfortunately, my time is spent mindlessly loading my resume up to websites, applying for jobs, forwarding resumes, answering emails from people wanting more info, and dreaming up ways to pay off the mortgage. Not to mention, trying to fix my computer.

Yet despite my running in circles, trying to get everything done, everyone seems to think I have hours to talk on the phone, hours to run errands for them, hours to entertain them, drive them around...and they get enraged when I don't drop everything I'm doing for them. It's galling.

But how can I complain about not having enough time, when I've had enough time to listen/read/websurf about the Lindsey Lohan saga. What I find so interesting about her (and others like her) is how misguided people are about people with potential. See, I don't think she has any more potential. There are tons of talented young girls out there with her talent, ready to step into her shoes. They aren't going to drink and drive or anything else. They'd love to have a chance to do what she does. Yet, so many talk show hosts, etc.,. think that "'s such a shame...she has so much talent...such a lovely young lady...etc.,." Our society tends to overlook the people with true potential, instead focusing on losers like Ms. Lohan. In fact, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, were all viewed by society (while they were young) as not having potential. Ha!

On another note, I'm really sick of this Homeowner situation. I'd prefer to have a house over a condo, keeping neighbors more at bay. They're annoying.

Well at least my neighbors aren't Ms. Lohan et al. I'd be afraid to pull out of my driveway.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Happy Harry Potter

I'm nominating myself for Mother of the Year.

I think I deserve it. Because I ferried kids and grandparents all around town Friday night/Saturday morning. All for Harry Potter.

First I picked up friends. In funky costumes. Spectators referred to the kids as "warlocks" but I think they just looked weird. On a side note, the outfits they wore were last year's Halloween costumes.

Then I picked up grandparents.

Then I scoped out parking spaces. In Downtown PA, where all the roads were blocked off and almost all parking spaces were taken.

Then I took numerous phone calls from a relative, I'll call her "Crazy Aunt" or C.A. C.A. called constantly and finally met up with all of us, the 2 kids in funky costumes, the grandparents and me. C.A. brought her quasi boyfriend (she claims he's just a friend but he brings her roses and she has his pictures up in her house) and his kid. We all went for pizza.

C.A. plied the grandparents with beer and then launched into her usual "I'm the best person in the world and all my siblings, but most especially my female siblings, are crud." After 40 years, I have no patience for the Crazy Aunt show. It's exhausting and I have no tolerance for all of her b.s.

So, I left said grandparents with CA and the beer (kids in costume had hauled ass to the Harry Potter brewhau).

I then spent the next 5 hours hanging out in the bookstore with costumed kids...drove grandparents home, hunted for parking (again), went back to the bookstore that was, by this time, crowded with thousands of people. At one point both the fire department and the police department had to show up to restore order.

It sucked.

Finally, at approx. 2 a.m. I found myself at home, having somehow managed to drag myself upright, drop one of the kids off at her house, and dazed and confused found myself in bed. At approx. 4 a.m., my kid came in and said she was scared and wanted to sleep in my bed. I let her.

I am Mother of the Year. It's Sunday night and I'm still recovering from the Harry Potter show.

Thursday, July 05, 2007


Haven't seen it, but everyone is talking about it.

My Mom thinks Michael Moore's movie came out (the timing) to support Ole' Hilary's campaign. Maybe so. I think that she's going to need more than his movie or her emasculated husband to get her campaign going.

But I do agree with the fact that health care stinks in the U.S. Especially since I'm shelling out $200 per month for a health care plan with a $1,500 deductable. That sucks. And my neighbors down the street, who don't speak English, never graduated from even elementary school...let alone high school...and sit on their porches making smarmy remarks to the 19 year old girl across the street instead of getting a job, they get all the health care they'd ever need, courtesy of my tax dollars. Yeah, so I get to pay for them but no one is paying for me.

And the people who are the most "liberal" and most vocal about protecting them and leaving our social system as it is, they are the ones bringing home huge salaries and living like pigs. It makes me sick to my stomach. So, I think Michael Moore has a point about the unbelievable unjustness of it all.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Hard Drive Crash

You may be wondering why you haven't heard from me lately.

My hard drive crashed.

I lost everything. I took the laptop to the "fix it store" and was told that it would cost me $500 for them to try to retrieve something, but it wasn't likely that they'd be able to find anything. This little bit of information cost me $49.

So I took my laptop back and my friend Sara looked at it and helped me reload Windows on the machine. And Sony didn't send me any discs, the laptop came pre-loaded with all of the software that I needed.

So I had to pay $20 for a "back up retreival software system" from Sony. That doesn't come with any wordprocessing software. I hate Microsoft. I paid for their d*** software suite and now I can't use it and have to buy it again. What a scam.

Let's see what other bit of fun has occurred...taking me away from my supposed boyfriend is AWOL, so I don't even know if I have a boyfriend anymore....I'm having difficulty applying for jobs as my computer is still down (blogging from the coffee shop right now)...and the downstairs bathroom is all plugged up. Oh. What. Fun.