At a Crossroads....

I went to a clothing store in San Jose that takes your old clothes and gives you cash or trade for them. It's called Crossroads.

First, don't use Yahoo Maps. They told me to turn the wrong way onto Stevens Creek Blvd. I should've used Mapquest. I love Mapquest. They never do me wrong. I'm going to just use Yahoo for email from now on.

So I brought in 3 HUGE bags (garbage bags full, spilling out with clothes) and some items draped over my arms. I brought in pairs and pairs of shoes, designer clothes, etc.,. Apparently most of the clothes were too conservative as the store was really going for the hoochie look (many of the clientele did look young, but there were some people my age in there too).

They took a see through yellow slip that I bought off of some old lady for .50 cents last summer. No, I'm not kidding. It was at a garage sale and she was on her way to the Old Folks Home and her kids were making her sell all of her stuff. So I took a few of her slips. One was bright yellow and I would never, ever wear it but I bought it anyway.

Crossroads also brought a stylin' pair of Nine West heels that I loved. They had an awesome floral pattern on them and were pointed. But they were too high for me. I can't go all day in 10" heels. These would've been too uncomfortable for me and I've had them for 2 years now and not worn them once.

Apparently they took something else also, but I don't know what it was. They had other people's bags of crap all interspersed with mine, so who knows what the hell it was. I didn't really care because I don't want anymore of the clothes. I have too many clothes and I need to really get rid of them.

So, 3 items later and I had to leave with all of my bags. I got $16 for the 2 items. Geez, I paid so much more for the shoes.

But guess what else I did? While I waited for them to dig through my pile of crap, I looked around. And found a pair of Abrocrombie and Fitch sweatpants ($9), a pair of jeans ($13) and a brown linen top I can wear to work (H&M, $9.50).

Mama Mia!

Just saw it. The movie.

It was awesome!

I loved it! It was so funny! Who knew that Meryl Streep could play a funny role with such style?

And the Greek Isles. Ooooh. Yummy. I want to live there for a month.

Yes, that is one of my next goals. I am going to save up some cash--and take a month of next year and live on one of the Greek Isles.

I'll drink wine every night, go out on boats every day, swim in the ocean, draw, write, read, dance, and go on long walks.

I'll drink tea in the morning and sit out on a terrace, overlooking the ocean.

I'll paint my toenails and go shopping and bring my cameras.

I'll take tons of pictures to build up my portfolio and post them on a website and sell the prints.

I'll sing Karoake at night and learn new dance moves.

I'll listen to my iPod and take long naps in the afternoon.

I'll get a moped or an old jeep and drive all over the island.

I'll cook delicious fish dinners and have them with grappo.

I'll eat clams and shrimp and olives and feta cheese.

I'll do yoga on the beach and meditate and hike up the hills and go to new restaurants.

Yes, my next goal is to go to the Greek Isles and just enjoy myself! For a whole month.

Only In California

Tired of reading about California's waffling on same sex marriage? Tired of hearing about our Governor's Global Warming Ideas?

Maybe you think California is just known for it's agriculture or the fact that it has one of the largest GNP in the world? Or maybe you don't know what any of that means and you think CA is just the land of dumb blondes in bikinis a la Pamela Anderson....

Well, consider yourself warned. California is so much more than that.

Consider this story, courtesy of MSNBC....Men Set Friend's Crotch On Fire....

Top 10 HGTV DesignStar Disasters

1. Oval Office Bullriding Redesign

2. Iraqi Inner City Sanctuary Garden

3. Las Vegas Tearoom/Meditation Room

3. Grand Theft Auto Video Arcade located in Cardiac Room of local hospital

4. Outdoor BBQ area for California State Parks

5. Home Depot Spa and Manicure Room

6. Walmart Drinking Lounge and Tiki Bar for lost shoppers

7. Kitchen/Bath Combo (Ew!)

8. Cell Makeover for San Quentin Prisoners with marble bidets

9. Obama vs. McCain in "Who Can Decorate the White House Best?" Contest

10. Will Decorate With Food (meant to be Will Decorate For Food but Producers had a typo)

American Gangsta'

I saw the movie American Gangster for the first time this weekend. It was based on a true story.

First, Denzel Washington is great!

He was a guy named Frank Lucas who made over $255 million in the '70's selling heroin. He didn't just sell it though, he shipped it in from Vietnam via coffins of dead soldiers.

He went from a drug lord's driver to owning all of New York, including 3/4ths of the New York Police force.

The Italians didn't like him too much, seeing as he pretty much put them and all of the other drug dealing gangsters out of business by supplying high quality heroin at cut rate prices.

He was a violent but impressive businessman. Donald Trump had nothing on him.

Also, Russell Crowe was pretty good too! He was the womanizing, good cop who brought Frank Lucas down.

There was a point in the movie, though, that I thought would've have happened quite differently today.

Scene: 1970's New York

Russell Crowe's character, Richie Roberts, ends up getting divorced from his wife.

Robert's Wife's Lawyer: Judge, you should give custody of the Roberts 5 year old boy to his mother because Richie Roberts is a womanizing, violent cop who lives in the projects with junkie friends and a chaotic and crazy life.

Robert's Wife (to her husband, Richie): We are getting a divorce because you have never been there for me or for our son and he deserves a consistent and happy home. You are never around. You bust dishonest cops, yet you are just the same as them because you won't be honest about how your lifestyles makes you an incompetent parent.

Richie Roberts: You are absolutely right. Judge, I withdraw, grant custody to my ex wife.

***********************

Scene: Today, Santa Clara County Family Court

Russell Crowe's character, Richie Roberts, ends up getting divorced from his wife.

Robert's Wife's Lawyer: Judge, you should give custody of the Roberts 5 year old boy to his mother because Richie Roberts is a womanizing, violent cop who lives in the projects with junkie friends and a chaotic and crazy life.

Judge: How dare you portray this wonderful man who wants to be a part of his child's life as being anything but a saint! You should be ashamed! He obviously cares about others and is a caring father! How he has treated women is irrelevant, it only counts if he treats people badly!

Robert's Wife (to her husband, Richie): We are getting a divorce because you have never been there for me or for our son and he deserves a consistent and happy home. You are never around. You bust dishonest cops, yet you are just the same as them because you won't be honest about how your lifestyles makes you an incompetent parent.

Judge (interrupting before Richie has a chance to answer): Mother obviously has an anger issue and needs counseling! Custody to the father!

Robert's Wife: But he is sleeping with his own lawyer! And he lives in the projects and has drugs and alcohol lying around!

Judge: Mother should pay all attorney fees and must complete a minimum of 2 years counseling before being allowed any visitation with this child! Wait, Richie Roberts, if you are living with your lawyer, let's just have the boy call her mom...in fact, put that in the court order and specify that father is not a danger to child and is a loving and caring man! And put in the order that Mom has anger issues. Bailiff escort that wacky woman out.

*****************

And that is the difference between a 1970's courthouse in New York and a 2000's Courthouse in Santa Clara County.

Woe Is Madonna's Bro

Just found the link to Madonna's bro's story on abc news.

I'm no Madonna fan. In fact, I think she's not all that talented, really. And she doesn't shock me. But I do admire how she works out...and she does seem like she cares about her family.

But her brother! Give me a break.

I'm so sick of the pity party.

Part of the reason that his tale of woe resonates with me is that I've been dealing with both of my brother's sad tales about their shitty childhood.

Give me a break.

They are so busy blaming everyone else for their problems...I guess that's what you do when you reach a certain age (late 30's, early 40's), take a look in the mirror and don't like what you see. Madonna's brother, my brothers, they don't want to take responsibility for how their life has turned out, so they decide to hold a pity party.

I just don't have any time for that.

Oh No, Bro!

In case you missed it, Madonna's brother just published a tell-all book.

Apparently, he doesn't like Madonna's hubby, Guy Ritchie. And, he's pissed 'cuz Madonna stopped ponying up the green.

What I found interesting about what I read online, though, was that Madonna's bro, Christopher, said that both Madonna and Guy Ritchie came from middle-class, boring backgrounds and reinvented themselves.

And he released some photos of Madonna looking like a middle aged, midwesterner. She didn't look all that crazy! Just a little boring.

Christopher, what were you thinking? This tell-all book is a no-win situation for you, dude. You look like the brother scorned. I actually feel sorry for the Guy and the Madonna now. Who needs relatives like her brother?

Outdoor fun

Who would've thought that my Chimenea would provide so much fun?


I bought it 2 years ago and just started using it, really, every night.

I love my Chimenea. At night, Sam and Charlotte and I sit outside and sip wine or beer with the fire going. Then, when the rats come out, we get our hose and spray them with water.

It's really fun.

I'm really enjoying my summer nights. I recommend a Chimenea for everyone!

Faking an Orgasm

In Vegas, Minnie and I went to the show, Thunder From Down Under.

It was a great show. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long, long time.

When I went to the bar, to get drinks for Minnie and me, the woman ahead of me in line said that she had been there 5 times and loved it.

The show actually helped me see a couple of truths.

First, women are turned on in completely different ways than men. We don't want to see a man's penis wagging about in our face. Men, on the other hand, seem to get off on strip clubs with women shoving their well-endowed or surgically enhanced boobs in their faces.

Luckily, Thunder From Down Under isn't a nasty peep show. It's genuinely funny and just a whole load of male attention, which is basically all women want.

The other truth I learned was the answer to the question I asked earlier in my blog. The question was, why do those 20-something guys go after older (40ish) women when they have gorgeous 20 year olds throwing themselves at them.

Part of the show included a point at which the Emcee (one of many gorgeous, well built Australians...although my boyfriend is way better looking but that's beside the point and I think I'm just really lucky because my friend said her husband was NOT in any way as good looking as the performers) pulled a few women on stage for a 'contest'.

The first 2 women he pulled on stage were in their twenties. Cute, a little wild, definitely good looking.

The third woman he pulled on stage was older, probably in her late 40's or early 50's. She was a little heavy compared to the whispy 20 somethings standing next to her.

"We are going to have a Fake Orgasm Contest!" he announced.

He told the first 20 something that she would start first. "Okay," she said smiling. "Umf. Oof. I'm done."

I was dumbstruck. She sounded as though she'd stubbed her toe. Except if she stubbed her toe, she'd probably show a little more of a reaction. Probably the next young lady will win, I thought. It'd be easy to upstage that.

But no.

The 2nd 20 something chick started and ended with, "Oh." The Emcee looked at her like she was nuts.

"Are you done?" he asked. She nodded.

"Okay," he said. And went on to the 40 or 50 year old lady. Before he could even say anything, she grabbed him and said, "You're my prop!"

Then she wrapped a leg around his torso, threw her head back and began. "Oooooh, Oh Baby, Oh Oh Oh Oh..." she moaned.

She must have gone on for a good 10 minutes. "Oh yeah baby, oh yeah...Keep it going oh oh oh..."

When she wrapped it up ( and believe me it was hard to hear because everyone was clapping and laughing so hard), the Emcee pulled himself away from her.

"I'm going to have to wipe myself off!" he announced.

After that performance, it was very clear to me why 20-something men enjoy those Cougars.

Sore Guns

I've been renovating old wooden patio furniture with my neighbor. We bought spray paint, painted the old bench, table, 2 chairs with primer and then with spray paint. It was a lot of work.

Then, I spent the past three days trimming out of control wisteria that was growing up over the fence, in the trees, etc.

When we were painting the table my neighbor suggested that we use a small hand saw to cut down the legs. Because I really wanted a low coffee table, not a picnic table.

So, I sawed away at the table legs. "C'mon Cece, you can do it!", my neighbor cheered me on.

"Show me those guns!" she exclaimed. It turned out that "guns" are upper arm muscles.

Currently, I am nursing my sore guns. But my yard looks great.

Mad Money

I watched Mad Money last night.

I want my 1 hour and 44 minutes back.

It was really dumb.

Of course, I should've known it would be dumb when Ted Danson starred in it. He is really, really dopey. But Queen Latifah is usually a good actress and in some awesome films. And, while I don't really like Diane Keaton due to the whole Woody Allen thing, lately she's been in some good films.

So I thought I'd give it a try.

And really, the best actress in the movie was some unknown actress who played the diabetic, music-dance-loving third crook of the bunch.

But, honestly, it was a dumb movie.

Weeds, Season 3, is a zillion times better.