Blog of a Million Dreams

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Faking an Orgasm


In Vegas, Minnie and I went to the show, Thunder From Down Under.

It was a great show. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long, long time.

When I went to the bar, to get drinks for Minnie and me, the woman ahead of me in line said that she had been there 5 times and loved it.

The show actually helped me see a couple of truths.

First, women are turned on in completely different ways than men. We don't want to see a man's penis wagging about in our face. Men, on the other hand, seem to get off on strip clubs with women shoving their well-endowed or surgically enhanced boobs in their faces.

Luckily, Thunder From Down Under isn't a nasty peep show. It's genuinely funny and just a whole load of male attention, which is basically all women want.

The other truth I learned was the answer to the question I asked earlier in my blog. The question was, why do those 20-something guys go after older (40ish) women when they have gorgeous 20 year olds throwing themselves at them.

Part of the show included a point at which the Emcee (one of many gorgeous, well built Australians...although my boyfriend is way better looking but that's beside the point and I think I'm just really lucky because my friend said her husband was NOT in any way as good looking as the performers) pulled a few women on stage for a 'contest'.

The first 2 women he pulled on stage were in their twenties. Cute, a little wild, definitely good looking.

The third woman he pulled on stage was older, probably in her late 40's or early 50's. She was a little heavy compared to the whispy 20 somethings standing next to her.

"We are going to have a Fake Orgasm Contest!" he announced.

He told the first 20 something that she would start first. "Okay," she said smiling. "Umf. Oof. I'm done."

I was dumbstruck. She sounded as though she'd stubbed her toe. Except if she stubbed her toe, she'd probably show a little more of a reaction. Probably the next young lady will win, I thought. It'd be easy to upstage that.

But no.

The 2nd 20 something chick started and ended with, "Oh." The Emcee looked at her like she was nuts.

"Are you done?" he asked. She nodded.

"Okay," he said. And went on to the 40 or 50 year old lady. Before he could even say anything, she grabbed him and said, "You're my prop!"

Then she wrapped a leg around his torso, threw her head back and began. "Oooooh, Oh Baby, Oh Oh Oh Oh..." she moaned.

She must have gone on for a good 10 minutes. "Oh yeah baby, oh yeah...Keep it going oh oh oh..."

When she wrapped it up ( and believe me it was hard to hear because everyone was clapping and laughing so hard), the Emcee pulled himself away from her.

"I'm going to have to wipe myself off!" he announced.

After that performance, it was very clear to me why 20-something men enjoy those Cougars.

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