Blog of a Million Dreams

Friday, October 09, 2009

Bank of America

Reading the news (or browsing it online), you hear about the problems of B of A.

Branches closing.

Poor financial decisions.

The buying out of other financial organizations at ginormous sums of money.

But not to worry!

As a Bank of America customer, I am here to assure you that Bank of America is rolling in dough.

In fact, B of A is doing so well that our local branch, here in Mountain View, is now hiring doormen.

That's right! You sail through the doors of B of A and are immediately accosted by a doorman in a suit.

"How can we help you!" he/she will insist.

"No, no, I'm fine" you state as you attempt to sideswipe the doorman and run to the line of 10 or so customers waiting for the two tellers.

And you wait and wait for a teller. A customer finishes up and you breathe a sigh of relief...only 9 more customers until you can access your account via teller.

But that is not the case. You see the teller has spied someone they know...

"Hey Joe!" shouts teller 1, "How's it going?" Joe hurries over to the teller from ACROSS the lobby, essentially cutting in front of everyone in line. Or he would be cutting in line, but he has no business to take care of with the teller. He just wants to talk!

9 customers look on as teller 1 carries on an in depth conversation about Joe's new shoes.

Teller No. 2 is especially patient with the Special Ed. student who doesn't understand how to use his ATM card and needs help figuring out what a PIN code means.

The doorman paces up and down the line, "What do ya need.." he demands. After ascertaining that no one in the line needs his help, he joins teller 1 and jokes with Joe about his shoes.

"Those sure are nice shoes," the Doorman says, "I bought a pair myself last week. They were $100 bucks but I really like 'em. Where'd you get yours?"

9 customers look on with disbelief.

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