Triggering Fat Fighting

So, I just read on the Time website (that links to CNN) that scientists may have discovered the trigger to fight fat.

Now, before I read the article, I wondered the following;

How much tax-subsidized money went into this study? And, of all the money that was spent to figure out how to fight fat, how much of that money could be used on...oh, let's see...maybe education, child care, food for the unemployed, etc.,

But no, it's more important for a friggin' study on how to fight fat....

I figured the scientists came to the conclusion that exercise fights fat. I mean, isn't that what you thought? What else fights fat? Eating healthy foods?

But no...the article states that scientists discovered that what works is making white fat act like brown fat!!!

Okay, who knew that fat was racist? But apparently it is. Brown fat doesn't make you as fat as white fat. Now before you get all excited and try to analyze how you are going to make your brown fat fight your white fat...know this...the only ones (according to this article) who have brown fat are newborn babies and rodents.

What a useless article. What am I supposed to do? Turn into a newborn baby or a mouse to lose weight?